Bipolar Disorder Writing

When life gets in the way

I have not written for myself or you since July. Life finds a way…to get in the way.

Where I’ve Been:

For a few months, I have been too busy to write…well, that is what I’m telling myself as I ignore the computer sitting just a few feet away from me. I took on a full-time job, my first in years. It was overwhelming at first, but I think I have gotten into a rhythm now. The job is not what I had expected to be doing after getting my Ph.D., but work is work when you need money. I keep trying to tell myself that, but my pride took a hit.

It has been good for me. I have gotten to experience working from home, in a safe space. The work is not difficult. Troubleshooting issues has always been a way for me to feel like I am helping. I like the challenge. Occasionally, I get stumped, but there is a safety net of manuals and senior advisors. All in all, it will do. I will keep searching for my dream job.

What Has Changed:

For those who feel compelled to write, you may understand that all the changes in my life have stifled me. I have forgotten why I write. So I must remind myself.

Why I Write:

  • I write to relieve stress and to share, what I hope, are the feelings that others may relate with as they go about their daily lives.
  • I write to breathe warmth into a heart that is sometimes cold and angry with the world.
  • I write as therapy.
  • I write because there is a world of people who can share the ups and downs and can commiserate with me.
  • I write to share important information that someone needs to hear.
  • I write because I need to.

What I Hope:

I hope by sharing this that I have stirred the writer within myself and you. I hope you will read this and think about the things you are not doing for yourself that could make life easier to live. Sometimes it is something small like watching funny YouTube videos or reading an imaginative book. It could be writing here on Medium, or it could be drawing a dragon on your notebook, but whatever that soul-easing task is…DO IT!

Breathe a sigh of relief knowing that life is hard for everyone and that we must live for the little pockets of happiness that we carve out for ourselves.

Ash

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